My head has been turned inside out from insurmountable quantity's of dust.
Heh, quan-tity's :D

Yes so, my humour has retreated back to a 12 yr old male's feeble perceptions of the world. My leg hurts like fuck. And it's hot and slaughtering my motivation.

Hmm, where's more pot when you need it.

And I am at the forefront of the nadir. The ass-sucking antecedant which brings us to closure. The sundry...no wait. Wrong word. I've been extending my vocabulary....More practise needed it seems.

So yeah, it seems I can't be reminded of Nathan these days without flying off the handle in a rage. It's like the break up, without the sex to soften the blow.
Cunt rag he is.

So, today marks the day when I am FED UP with not looking good in anything. So I will endeavor to be a decent size by the end of the year. For health reasons primarily, but it will be nice to buy fashionable clothes again.

I'm going to get to work on that singing career I always planned. Enough with the 'Murrr, no getting on stage. They'll judge me'. Because you know, thats the whole point. Time to grow some balls and just do it. I will take this world by storm, Tami will be my trophy wife. (Because honey, I'd rather be your sugar daddy then some creepy guy who will want to sex you) and I'll buy her pretty things. And she can tell me what pretty things I should buy for me. (My fashion sense is horribly stunted) And I'll buy her more tattoo's, if she promises to hold my hand and not tease me when I cry like a little bitch when I get mine.

Yeah, been daydreaming a bit lately. I've always had a tendency to dream big. Time to act on it I guess.

But first...another joint :)

So I was thinking just now, as I have to go press record for mum on her tv shows ( she has minimal life). And my thoughts drift back to a few nights ago when I spent a few hours in the dead of the night talking to a musically gifted friend.

He said some things I found...inspiring. So I'm gunna give a go at this writing thing again.
Here goes.

Forget for just one second that you own me.
Pretend the veil before your eyes doesn't blind you.
Lets pretend the world has magic you can see.
And philosophys that make sense too.

I recall a reason, no a treason.
A vile act of self regret and loathing.
Pushing hard I cannot stop,
and the feel of her up on top.
The sickening sound of her moaning...


(chorus)

So give me something to believe in.
Because beliefs are just not enough for me.
Give me something akin to a reason.
Why I let you go, and why I never show.
That leaving was the best thing to do.
But still, I believe in you...


And maybe I'll finish this later >_>

According to an ex friend who shall not be named because he'll whine like the cockless bitch he is, I have been 'disrespecting the woman he loves to everyone and in front of his family'

Correction I have done nothing but keep my mouth SHUT out of respect for our once friendship regarding the SLUT he calls his girlfriend. The cheap whore he professes to love. The one that wouldn't look at him twice when he has nothing going for him, and now suddenly things are looking up, he's suddenly an interest.

Well, here's what I think of her.
I think I have scraped scum off the bottom of my shoes that was more intelligent then her. I think her ass is so loose from over use you could lose a person in there. I think this cunt of a human being should have been swallowed at conception.

That, my so called friend. Is being disrespectful. Honest, but disrespectful.


What I said to your uncle in passing?

"Yeah, I don't like her much"

How fucking DARE you call me up and abuse me over shit you got wrong. How dare you not talk to me for months, make time too see me, or call me. And only get up off your lazy ass to do when I 'disrespected' your girlfriend?

Seriously, go get raped. The pair of you. You deserve each other, I used to think when it passed and she tossed you away like a used kleenex (which is all you are to her) I'd be sympathetic. Now I hope when the saddness hits you jump off a fucking bridge, and I'll be there to spit on your corpse.

All faggots can go to hell. And once they're there they'll fuck mell :)
Cause she's a slut, a bitch a whore. Ram her ass cause she wants more!

For those of you playing at home:

Hendra Virus: A virus, formerly called equine morbillivirus, that can cause illness and death in horses and humans.

So yeah, there was this 'public health scare' because people though a horse on my farm at it. It's supposed to have a 50% mortality rate or something. Anywho, they (meaning the 'experts') believed I had it. Or had been exposed to infection. So...I had to be publically fumigated on my front lawn mostly naked in front of a whole tribe of tradesmen.

Yeah, HOWS THAT FOR A FUCKING WEEKEND!

Choking to death on bitten words,
of self denial and non-repent.
Relinquish the verb of no forget,
pretending it's not forgotten.

Damaged core thats filthy, rotten.
That light can't seem to penitrate.
Rustic law that suffocate,
An advocate of shame.






BREAK IT DOWN Y'ALL





*cypress hill*



Do my shit undercover now it's time for the blubba
blabber, to watch that belly get fatter
Fat boy on a diet, don't try it
I'll jack yo' ass like a looter in a riot
My shit's fat, like a sumo, slammin dat ass
Leavin yo' face in the grass
Cause you know, I don't take a duro, lightly
Punks just jealous cause they can't outwrite me
or kick that style, wicked, wild
Happy face nigga never seen me smile
Rip dat main=frame, I'll explain
A nigga like me is goin insane

Olivia Benson from Law and Order SVU.
She kicks ass.

Porcelain and the Tramps. Queen. Mindless self indulgence. Disturbed. Nightwish.

Yes, I was in a car accident this morning. My car came off the road, down an embankment, dodged a few tree's and slammed through a wooden fence.
No, I'm NOT bloody alright. My fucking head hurts.

Meaning yes, I am alright. I just have a minor concussion.
My car is a write off. I cried for ages. I love my car :(

everyone at the crash site said it was amazing I was still alive. I don't remember much. Just some fucking asshole tail gating me and then speeding off when I went off the road.

Cunt.

Anywho. If I don't bleed out my brain and die in my sleep. I'll update later...if I can be bothered.

Or otherwise known by Porcelain and the Tramps.
Firstly, Gasoline.





Don't get in my face
Don't invade my space
I'll put you in your place
I'll only tell you once
I'll never tell you twice
And this is me being nice

You cross me once and you'll see
It's like a match in gasoline
Gasoline

'Cause I'm highly flammable
A caged up animal
I will go off for you
You better take it back
I'm about to snap
I will go off for you, oh

When it's your turn
You'll get your lesson learned
You'll be pissed to burn
My adrenaline is going to do you in
I'm seeing red again

You cross me once and you'll see
It's like a match in gasoline
Gasoline

'Cause I'm highly flammable
A caged up animal
I will go off for you
You better take it back
I'm about to snap
I will go off for you, oh

I'm highly flammable, a caged up animal
I will go off for you
Better take it back, I'm about to snap
I will go off for you

Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh

You cross me once and you'll see
It's like a match in gasoline
Gasoline

'Cause I'm highly flammable
A caged up animal
I will go off for you
You better take it back
I'm about to snap
I will go off for you, oh.


And now, You Want.


You wanna show me here
You wanna show me there
You wanna run me down
Into a perfect circle
Seams will stretch
And then my bed will burst
And when I'm back to you
I'll have a story to tell

Words are worthless
When you're laying in my bed, oh

Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on the words that you said?
You're better off dead
Is it creeping all the words that I said?
Cause you want me and you like me and I'm
Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on the words that you said?
Cause you want me and you like me dead

You wanna tear me up
You wanna stretch me out
And what you lost I found
And now I'm not giving it back

Words are worthless
When you're laying in my bed, oh

Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on the words that you said?
You're better off dead
Is it creeping all the words that I said?
Cause you want me and you like me and I'm
Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on the words that you said?
Cause you want me and you like me dead

I love you
But I'll never change

Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on the words that you said?
You're better off dead
Is it creeping all the words that I said?
Cause you want me and you like me and I'm
Tell me when I'm dead
Is it sleeping on all the words that you said
Cause you want me and you like me and I'm (x4)
Cause you want me and you like me and I'm dead

'I feel perfect' lyrics.
Because I can.

Ta fuckers.








The other day I had to stop and think
And boy I love the way you get to me
So I took a hit and poured another drink
Your perfect frame is where I sucked it clean
Oh Yeah

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now


I love how easy you crawl at me
And the way it feels when you peel my clothes off me
The palm of my hand's where I hold the key
I fit you like the glove, it's not the ecstacy
Oh Yeah

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now

Don't stop till you please me
Don't stop till you please me
Don't stop (can you feel me?
), don't stop, (can you feel me?) don't stop, don't stop
Why don't you come over
and slip into something a little more comfortable
Slip into me
How does that feel baby
Oh wait dont tell me, I already know
I feel perfect
I feel deep in you

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now

I can never stop myself from fallin over
You can never stop yourself from comin over
I can feel you comin closer and closer
Baby don't stop now
Baby don't stop now

I feel perfect - Porcelain and the tramps
I will say nothing more, other then 'Adam, I am looking at you :P'

Oh. And the lyrics to Fuck Like A Star. Or well, one of the versions. Doesn't seem to be a dependable set of lyrics. Oh well, I like this version. Toodles!








Haha,
If there's a fucking problem with the fucking shit in
This fucking song we can fucking edit it out for the fucking god damned radio.
Fucking god damned cunt ass mother fucking bitch ass fuck face.
Suck my big fucking black dick and I wanna see that ass clap, bitch.

She puffs her lips on cigarettes and paces in the lobby
Silhouettes of pure white skin
A super in post-party
She is the string that holds your fate
The one that gets it started
So if you’ve got the balls to fight then put your mouth around it

Oooh I know you're out of it
Oooh I know you want it
She fucks like a star
All way to the top
Mess with your head
Make you want it
Fucks like a star
So rated R
You'll do anything
'Cause she fucks like a star, fucks like a star

Anorexic beauty queen with painted eyes so toxic
Always spread out on her back
Centerfold erotic
She’s had a gram, a shot, a slam, enough to start a riot
Everybody wants a piece
But only I’m invited

Oooh I know you're out of it
Oooh I know you want it
She fucks like a star
All the way to the top
Mess with your head
Make you want it
Fucks like a star
So rated R
You'll do anything
Because she fucks like a star, fucks like a star

Oooh she make you want it you want it
Oooh you fucking love it you love it
Fucking fuck like a star, star, star
You fucking fuck like a star, star, star
I’ll fuck you like a star, superstar
I’m gonna fuck you like a superstar star star star
She fucks like a star
All way to the top
Mess with your head
Make you want it
Fucks like a star
So rated R
You'll do anything
’Cause she fucks like a star, fucks like a star
Enjoy

I won't even say who this is in reference to. You can figure it out for yourself.
Toodles.












"Breath"

I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.

Is it over yet, in my head?

I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.

Is it over yet? I can't win.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.

Is it over yet? Let me in.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

[Bridge]
I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

Would have to be Lord Sheogorath, from the shivering isles expansion of oblivion.
Lets face it, what isn't there to love about a batty scotsman.

My favourite quote:

Wonderful!
Time for a celebration...
Cheese for everyone!
Wait, scratch that...
Cheese for no one...
I suppose that can be just as much of a celebration, if you don't like cheese, true?
You've run a maze like a good little rat...
But no cheese for you yet...
Well, maybe a little...

Once I heard this. I immediately thought of you Adam :P
I'm mean lets face it. If game designers think disliking cheese is a possibility, then it can't be that bad can it?


Anywho, more nutty quotes from the Daedric Prince, Lord Sheogorath.
Until next time. Ta-ta.

I once dug a pit and filled it with clouds...
Or was it clowns?
Come to think of it, it began to smell...
Must have been clowns...



Ta!
Come visit again!
Or I'll pluck out your eyes!


Jyggalag!
He is the Prince of Order... or biscuits... no, Order!
And not in a good way...
Bleak...
Colorless...
Dead...
Boring, boring, BORING!!!!
And not a fan of my work, I can tell you...
Hates it, hates me...
You've seen his knights...
Not the warm and cuddly sort...

Must you be bothering me about this? I'm trying to think of what to have for dinner.
Go talk to Haskill, he's got more brains than a brain pie...
Mmmmm... brain pie... perfect!!
Care to donate??

I'm SO happy! I could just...tear out your intestines and strangles you with them!

...And I HATE IT when people gather forces in my Fringe!

Maggot infested vag of Satan.

I love the creative spin bud puts on joke telling.

I can't remember what else I was supposed to report.
Oh, hypersensitivity sucks donkey balls.

And Nathan and I argue like cats and dogs. Nathan must die.

It's 1 am. I have work tomorrow. I can't fucking sleep. I'm tweaking out on green tea (the peach kind. Very yummy btw) and random noises outside tear me between running and hiding under my blanket or sauntering out with a fucking shotgun...
..if I had one

I has two very mediocre songs in my head. I feel like dancing. Or boozing. Or getting stoned.

Fuck, when was the last time I actually went out and hung out with people other then family?

I'M STILL ALIVE GUYS! I'LL BRING MY BAILEYS AND VIBRATOR/LUBE AND WE"LL HAVE MUCHO'S FUN.


Oh yes senior...lots of fun. Khah-Khah-Khah

I think this accurately states what I plan on doing for Earth day.

What the fuck IS Earth day??!

Except this song by Beyonce *coughs* sorry. Sasha Fierce *rolls eyes*.
It's called Halo.

Goes something like this:

Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

[chorus:]
It’s like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
It’s the risk that I’m taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out
Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

[bridge:]
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light
I swore I’d never fall again
But this don’t even feel like falling
Gravity can’t forget
to pull me back to the ground again


*coughs* Yeah. I'm not feeling incredibly sappy right now. No way >_>

Anywho. Like most R&B songs. The lyrics are very ordinary. But she certainly puts alot of colour into singing them. So worth checking out me thinks.

Drama. I hate it.
I mean seriously. What is with these people who fucking thrive on it.
Yes I know. It's because their lives are so boring and tedious that they create drama for entertainment. And or to make themselves feel special, validated or wanted.

Here's an idea. FUCKING GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Stop putting these bullshit pressures on people. Then maybe people might enjoy your company. So you won't be so lonely and bored to annoy the shit out of everyone around you.

I try to compassionate and understanding. I try my best to grit my teeth and help them through it. But there's only so much shit I'll take. It's not worth the stress tolerating the pressence of these people. Why I continue to try and keep things decent, probably comes back to the fact that I hate confrontation. But sooner or later it's going to happen.

Bleh, someone poor me a Tia Maria.

Can't remember what it was about. But it was with this guy I bludged a ciggarette off at the bustop. We caught the same bus and chatted all the way back to tweed. We then became friends. He's..well. Alot older. But we're very similer.